EXCERPTS – Swipe Right (2)

Three new excerpts from my latest WIP…

There are a lot of things I didn’t realise I’d forgotten. Things that she did around the house. Things that I had completely stopped doing after she moved in. It took me nearly 45 minutes to find the washing machine instructions and another 20 to decipher just what the hell I was supposed to do to make the thing work. However, I’m pretty chuffed that I managed to wash everything without turning it all pink like you see in the movies. One less reason to need her and 5 Bonus Points for me. All I need to do now is to cook an awesome meal this evening and everything is fixed. I’ve got some pasta and there are some chunks of meat in the freezer. If I can make spaghetti Bolognese without redecorating the kitchen, I’m sorted.

Got engrossed in extending (get out of my head Leanna) my nonsense poem. Will send the main protagonist on a sea journey – a la ‘Snark’. I have decided to introduce the Sea Deer much later in the story-line and the first two verses are certainly working – already offering the reader some new portmanteau words and an indication of the nonsense to come. I feel like Lear and Dodgson are looking over each shoulder. Fuck off and read your own stories… 🙂

RESULT. I didn’t forget the potato (although it was maybe cooking a little too long – skin was a bit crispy). A large knob! (the butter, unfortunately) and the onion, sweetcorn, sausage, mayo combo was delish. Even Betty wanted to lick my buttery spud. (Why does that sentence worry me?) Eat your heart out, Jeremy… No, what’s his name? The one with the hair? Oliver someone. Well whatever! Eat your heart out, Nigemma!

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